MOSCOW, November 14 - RAPSI. Citizens of Alaska, Connecticut, the District of Columbia, Hawaii, Maryland, and Vermont have refrained so far – as of the time of writing, at least – from petitioning for secession from the United States. Beyond that, however, there appears to be trouble in paradise for citizens disenchanted with last week’s reelection of US President Barrack Obama, and they are prepared to take matters into their own hands.
It should be noted that while an Alaskan secession petition has not yet been submitted, a petition has been filed requesting a referendum to allow Alaskans to vote on the secession question.
Citizen petitions filed with the White House must gather a minimum of 25,000 signatures within the course of 30 days in order to be considered by the presidential administration. As of the time of writing, seven states have surpassed that threshold: Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, North Carolina, Texas, and Tennessee.
The Texas petition, which currently has 94,810 signatures – almost quadruple the minimum threshold – states its position as follows: “The US continues to suffer economic difficulties stemming from the federal government's neglect to reform domestic and foreign spending. The citizens of the US suffer from blatant abuses of their rights such as the NDAA, the TSA, etc. Given that the state of Texas maintains a balanced budget and is the 15th largest economy in the world, it is practically feasible for Texas to withdraw from the union, and to do so would protect it's citizens' standard of living and re-secure their rights and liberties in accordance with the original ideas and beliefs of our founding fathers which are no longer being reflected by the federal government.” [Sic.]
The Floridian petition, which currently has 28,429 signatures, closes dramatically with a 1775 quote by US Founding Father Benjamin Franklin: “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.”
Notably, Obama won against his Republican rival Mitt Romney in many of the states whose citizens have filed petitions.
A number of citizens have already taken to defending the motherland against the secessionists. One petition implores the White House to deport “Everyone That Signed A Petition To Withdraw Their State From The United States Of America.” [Sic.] It has gathered 13,815 signatures over the course of its first two days, and is gaining rapidly. Another petition filed by the citizens of Austin, Texas – a city known for being a liberal diamond in Texas’ conservative rough – asks the White House to allow it to remain American in the event of a Texan secession. It has collected 3,678 signatures since its launch two days ago.